Lelah?

19:24

Betapa sulitnya bagi kita untuk berhenti sejenak, duduk, diam kemudian mendengarkan Tuhan. Kita menjalani kehidupan yang merupakan rangkaian berbagai macam aktifitas yang harus dilakukan secara beruntun. Rangkaian itu telah menjadi sebuah pola dan siklus yang tiada henti. Seringkali kita merasa bahwa 24 jam dalam sehari tidaklah cukup untuk menyelesaikan segala tanggung jawab dan beban yang harus ditanggung.

Saat ini aku duduk dan merenung tentang bagaimana aku bisa berhenti sejenak, duduk, diam dan mendengarkan Tuhan. Aku telah menjalani rangkaian aktifitas dan kegiatan yang harus/perlu aku lakukan secara beruntun. Tanggung jawab dan beban yang harus aku tanggung sepertinya membuat aku lelah. Mungkin itulah Tuhan membuat sebuah kondisi yang disebut lelah. Karena pada saat lelah-lah kita menyadari bahwa kemampuan yang kita miliki terbatas. Ada banyak orang yang akan menyesali kenapa mereka tidak menjaga tubuh dan aktifitas mereka dengan baik. Tapi ada juga orang yang mengucap syukur atas kelelahan itu.

Aku dapat mengerti kenapa orang menyesal karena kelelahan, tetapi aku juga mengerti kenapa orang mengucap syukur pada saat mereka lelah. Mereka melihat keatas dan sadar bahwa mereka sudah melupakan Tuhan. Mereka tidak sadar bahwa mereka membawa beban terlalu berat dan mereka terlalu pelit untuk membagikan beban itu kepada Tuhan.

Saat ini aku lelah, tetapi aku mengucap syukur karena aku sadar bahwa aku lupa aku punya Tuhan. Aku terlalu pelit untuk membagikan beban itu kepada Dia. Dan saat ini aku berhenti, duduk, diam dan mendengarkan Tuhan.

Tuhan sepertinya tidak berbicara dan aku tidak mendengarkan suara-Nya. Mungkin Tuhan tidak ingin berbicara, supaya aku bisa menikmati istirahatku di akhir hari yang panjang ini.

In You

Tuhan, gambaran kuat tentang ‘seseorang’ itu sepertinya tidak pernah lepas dari pikiranku. Aku minta tolong Tuhan supaya aku kuat dan tidak jatuh. Ini seperti duri dalam daging.

Dosa saat ini mulai merangkak masuk dalam pikiranku. Seperti biasa aku membuka pintu lebar-lebar dan membiarkannya masuk. Aku akan membiarkan hal itu, tapi jangan biarkan hal itu terjadi Tuhan.

Tuhan, aku perlu menyelam bersama Engkau, dan menikmati keindahanMu. Aku perlu melihat bagaimana Engkau mengelilingi aku dengan kasihMu. Aku hanyalah seonggok daging dengan harga diri yang tinggi. Aku ingin melepaskan hal itu supaya mataku bisa melihat bagaimana Engkau ada.

Nights At Rio

When I mention about Rio, I bet most of you will think about Rio de Janeiro, one famous city in the exotic land of Brazil.

Well, not this time. The other Rio I am talking about is this simple, little café located in the heart of the famous Kemiri area in Salatiga. This place has been serving many students with its simple student-style cuisine for many years. Although it’s not as cult as the Night Café, this place has been in our hearts for the recent months.

Rio café has become our “Central Perk” of the sitcom “Friends”. A place to hang out and eating out, and it have been a ritual that after the fellowship is over we would stop by at this place. Some for dining, and some others for a drink and a snack. I remember one night. It was rainy, cold and windy. Most of us were chilled and hungry and as soon as the fellowship was over, we ran away to Rio. We would choose a table with chairs or a “lesehan” one, a short-legged table where you sit on the carpeted floor. We would eager to choose the menu, Ellen and Vera loves the banana roasted with cheese on top of it, Dina is addicted to their fried rice. She said it’s the only place in Salatiga that serves fried rice with terasi chili. Jekson is always a fan of their sawi soup. For me, their tea is simply narcotics and their roasted banana with the sprinkling chocolate is a perfect company to go with.

Our night would start with Pita and Santi shared their dumb stories. And then Jeffri would added-up something dry from his experience. Many times we have to wait for quite a while before the food is coming. So these stories became an entertainment while we were waiting. When the food was coming we would still talked. Some shared their jokes and the others talked about lives; love life, a never-ending study, families and Jogja. Mega would always be the one who cheered up the atmosphere with her corny stories, and Mavis and Sakri would faithfully listen to her. When Maria was still around she would showed her ability in playing guitar and sing a song. Some are talkative and some are quite, especially our dear friends who are learning Indonesians.

Sometimes I feel sorry for them for being in a place full of full-mouthed people who speaks Indonesian with so many accents and slang and sometimes so ignorant that there are some people who sit nearby trying to understand what we are talking about. Kubili would smile so mysteriously, and Joanna just plainly looked at us. There were times when we remembered our friends who live in a far away land. We were smiled just to think of how completely lost could Mio be sometimes, or Lisbet with her never-ending complaints about her search for her other half.

One of those nights, I sit with them and watched them in our ritual habits. We sit close to each other that made our body warm to fight against the cold night of Salatiga. I felt being in my family, I felt being at home and Rio café was our dining room. Our times at Rio have always been a good wrap-up after the long and tiring day. This little café is an eye-witness of our cries, laughs, smiles, jokes, gossips and all those things revolves in our lives.

We would complain about the smelly carpets that they have, that it takes a long time to serve the food, that it’s too open and the wind blow so hard, so bored with the food, the banana is too greasy; the fried rice is too plain. But we’ve always come back to Rio. After all, this is our dining room, our family’s dining room.

Count your blessing!

Did you ever wonder that your life seems to be fine, you have a job, family, friends, and your relationship with God is improving but somehow you missed something that prevented you to enjoy those things?

Nearly confused, I sent an e-mail expressing my grievance over my life to a friend. What she said was simple, yet it was profound. Count your blessing! Never thought of having such respond but that really answered this whole situation. I missed to be thankful to God for every little thing He graces over my life.

Back few months ago I learnt about counting my blessing and I even wrote it in a piece of paper and stuck it on my diary. It’s funny how I easily forget one of the most important attitudes that every human being must do.

Karimunjawa 2006

This picture is one of my favorite pictures. I was walking down to the dock with my friends Jay and Jeremy on our way to catch a boat for snorkeling. Selena, who was already in the boat with Mavis took this picture. It looks so spontaneous, yet at the same time captured the beauty of the small part of Karimunjawa.

Summer Solstice

Awan bergerak melintasi bumi
Angin bertiup menandakan datangnya masa baru

Satu persatu daun-daun berwarna hijau berubah warna
Gelap
Apakah perubahan itu sebuah keindahan?

Musim panas telah datang
Membawa terik dan debu
Angin membisikkan pesan
Air akan sirna dari bumi beberapa waktu
Apakah itu sebuah keindahan?

Global Warming??

I think this is the first time I don't like rain. It supposes to be dry season, not that I like this particular season but it's just weird! I am just thinking that it might be the global warming that plays on this change.

Looking out the window, I saw the rain pouring down so hard. It feels like a December, the month when we got a lot of rain. I am not sure when this going to stop, I hope soon because I am hungry.

The Javanese people refer rain with blessing, so whenever there is rain during the wedding or circumcision party we believe that many blessings will be poured upon the new couple or the boy. It make sense though, we live in a tropical island where sun shines throughout the year. Most Javanese rely their lives on the traditional farming and rain helps irrigate the farmlands. In the past, the dry season and the rainy season always came right on time, six months to be exact for each season. The six-month period has been existed for a long time that formed the current farm systems. The dry season is the time to plants and the rainy season is the time to harvest.

The change has been going on for a couple of years, although this is the first time I notice it. It is difficult for the farmers when rain comes during the rainy season, it will destroy the seeds they have just planted. I am not sure whether there is any solution to deal with this change. But I hope the government has some plans to help the farmer on this situation.

A Time for Everything

I received a phone call from a friend this morning to letting me know that one of my good friends died of an accident last night. It was news that I never expected to receive in such a perfect morning. I made some phone calls to confirm the accuracy of this news on my disbelieved. While I was making a phone call, my mind was picturing him vividly.

He was a fine 26 years old guy, with a contagious passion in music. One day, we were at the church practicing some songs for the church activities. He played piano and suddenly he hit tones that struck me. I was always an aspiring songwriter who wishes to be one, one day. He kept playing and I wrote some words and tried to match with his tone. He accommodated the words by modifying the rhythm and the tone. He was so patience and giving great ideas on the song. Eventually we created one and we sang that song at the church the next morning. I couldn't even remember what song it was but that was a one time unforgettable experience that I have ever had in creating what so called an "art" and I was glad I did it with him.

After several calls confirming the accuracy of the news, I finally called his brother and shared my condolences. He was in the ambulance on his way to transfer the body from the hospital to their house. The sirene was loud and there were people talking around him. He sounded strong but I knew his heart broke.

A moment before I received the news, interestingly I read an e-mail from a dear friend who reminded me that there is a time for everything. There is a time to born and a time to die; a time to laugh and a time to cry; a time to joy and a time to sad. This is life, a fact that I often forgot.

An Interesting Birthday

Closing the school year with working through paperworks, printing many reports, meetings, graduations and saying goodbyes. Now, I am trying to recover my energy and get back on track again. It's been a whirlwind weeks and I found many interesting experience as I went through day to day of those weeks.

I turned 28 last Saturday, the day of the school's graduation. I was not thinking much about it with so much things needed to be done that day. I felt exhausted and disorientated but managed to survive. I ended up the day by inviting some close friends for a dinner. It was nice and simple. I love being around with the people I love and care, especially on a special day like birthday. Too bad my family was not around. They didn't even think about it actually as it never been a big thing.

The next day though, I was not expected my parents threw me a party at the event with the family reunion at their house. It was okay, boring if I can say. I got a lot of questions about when I will get marry and all those stuff. Well, I kind of get use to that so that didn't bother me much. It was good enough to be with family and celebrated my birthday in a different way. I also got some calls from good friends from Switzerland and the States wishing me a happy birthday. They are sweet!